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| Linh & Danh |
Love at first sight
We found each other about 4~5 years ago through the introduction of our friend Duc. When we first met, I thought she is older than me due to the thick make up on her face. But she is actually 7 years younger. Well, she thought that I was Duc's boyfriend. Duc is gay!
The next day, we went to Vung Tau beach with my staffs. We stayed there for 3 days. We had so much fun. I still remembered the way she looks in the white dress. On special occasions, I asked her to put on that dress. The dress is still around but its hasn't been worn for years.
We started living together after about 1 month. Linh was 41 kg. After 3 months, she gained about 6 kg. That's why she could not wear that memorial white dress. Well, she wore that dress when she dropped a few kilos. However, I might not be able to see that innocent look again.
Happiness
During the first few months, we enjoyed every moment together. We went shopping, dinning on daily basis. We went to
Vung Tau again with a gay couple. They made us laugh every second. We never will forget them!
We traveled to many tourist attraction places like
Da Lat, Nha Trang, Vung Tau, Phan Thiet, Mui Ne. Occasionally, I took Linh to Dong Nai, my home town. We had a lot of fun with my little cousins. There were so many of them.
Unfortunately, we do not have pictures of the gay couple. These pictures illustrated some of our happy moments:
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| Thung Lung Tinh Yeu (Love Valley), Da Lat. |
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| Linh is leading. My brothers Hoa and Cong at the back. |
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Me on horseback.
I fell off the horse a few times in my life because I always going fast. |
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Vinpearl, Nha Trang. Left to right Me, Linh, Cong, Hoa.
Hoa is my youngest brother, his first time in Vietnam. |
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| Vinpearl, Nha Trang. Linh putting sun screen on for me. |
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My uncle Samson from Australia next to Linh on the left.
We went to our home town to visit our relatives. |
Thailand
On May 2008, my younger sister (Rachel) went to Vietnam. We went to Thailand altogether for 6 days tour. The happiest moments together were the
Tiffany show and other
gay shows. Those shows were unbelievable. Just amazing!
On the last day of the tour, we went shopping for at least 10 continuous hours. Actually, there were clear tasks for each of us. My partner and sister responsible for shopping. I do the paying and carrying. I could see people on the street sympathized for me. I must be carried approximately 10 kg at the end of the day.
And this is all I got from the trip, a couple t-shirt:
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This photo was taken on the Boat Restaurant, Bach Dang, Vietnam.
That magnet couple t-shirt was the only thing I got from Thailand tour. |
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| Safari, Thailand. That's little tiger was cute. |
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| My sister Giang (Rachel). |
Accident
One mid-night, while I was working. My mobile phone rang. A complete stranger informed me that my partner was in Saigon hospital. I rushed to the hospital, seeing my love crying, lying on the bed with blood all over her face and body. She was half dead. Doctors and nurses were at the desk chatting and doing nothing! Absolutely nothing! I paid for the services, then they started cutting her cloths. They could not take it off naturally.
I wish we both in Australia. We would have much better services. Anyway, we moved to
Cho Ray hospital the next day because they could not do anything here.
Cho Ray Hospital
I could not believe that they arranged my partner to share a standard hospital bed with another unnown patient. I told them that I want a better paid service. They told me that all better services were booked out.
Now,
I better take it or leave it! At that time, I didn't know of any other hospitals. I had to accept the offer before they are putting us on the floor.
While they were moving us to the room, I tried to locate the person in charge of the hospital beds. I found her and explain our situation, I was almost cry. I think she could felt what I had been through. We finally get our own bed in a better room.
For one whole day, I didn't see any doctor doing any analysis. This is wrong! My partner was in pain, constantly shaking and I do not see any body here doing anything. That night, I called my best friend's Tai in Australia to get his brother Dr. Hop number. Hop is a practitioner in Vietnam, I went to his house at about 7~8PM with the X-Ray of my partner's skull. I didn't know why the hospital gave me the X-Ray! This is insane, I am not a doctor. I could remember clearly because of the heavy rain that night. I was all wet like a dog!
Unfortunately, Dr. Hop did not specialize in face and road accident. Nonetheless, he introduced me to doctor Cuong. He analyzed the X-Ray and told me that there were 2 broken bones on her face:
- A broken jaw.
- A tiny bone near her nose. Nothing can be done as it was located underneath the face bone.
I informed Dr. Cuong that I already contacted the Australian embassy to arrange medical treatment in Australia for my partner. He insisted there shouldn't be any problem with the operation here. Well, I trusted his judgement. In fact, taking my partner to Australia would required a lot of paperworks. It would takes months. Perhaps, it could not be done because of the way the Vietnamese government system works.
The next morning, a doctor came to the room. He asked:
Who's the family member of Dr. Cuong here?
Almost everything flowed quite nicely thereafter. Blankets and bedsheets were changed quite often.
Change another hospital
Later that day, we were informed that this Hospital cannot do anything as the injuries were face related. They asked us to move to another hospital. I called Dr. Cuong, he told me that he already arranged us to Rang Ham Mat (Teeth Jaw Face) hospital tomorrow. I didn't know what to do but wait for further advices.
At 10 AM on the third day, Linh was asked to take blood sample. They took 10 cc of her blood. She was in serious pain, every movement would caused tear drop on her cheeks and shattered my heart. The procedures were as follow:
- Nurse informed Linh to take blood sample.
- I went from level 7 to ground floor to do the payment for taking blood sample. I used the staircases as there were too much people waiting for lift. It would be much faster.
- A nurse and I help Linh sit on the wheel chair. We moved to ground zero, wait in the long queue for about 30~45 minutes.
- Thanks god! Tran Ai Linh was called. They took 10 cc of her blood. In case you don't know 1 cc = 1 ml. Therefore, they took about 10 ml.
- I asked the nurse why taking so much, she told me it's for sample test. But Linh would be transferred to another hospital at 2PM today. She said: I don't know.
- We moved all the way back to level 7 again, on lift!
Later that day, I found out that they took the patients' blood and sell to other patients. I could never ever thought of this in my entire life. Well, it's happening right here in Vietnam. I strongly believed they were taking patients' blood to sell because no results were sent to any other hospital and they knew that we would be leaving later that day.
We hope that no internal organs are missing.
My first time on Ambulance
Again, we had to do the payment before booking the ambulance. I had to hold on to the receipt. Otherwise, we have to pay again.
I think the driver was insane! We were not in a hurry. But he turned on the siren and drove like F1 drivers. He went real fast through a lot of bumps and holes on the road.
Anyway, nobody was hurt except my partner constantly crying as she swung left, right, up, down along with the motion of the ambulance.
Rang Ham Mat Hospital
This hospital is a little bit more civilized. The procedures were as follow:
- Take a ticket
- Wait for your number
- Pay, keep receipt
- Move to your room
At the other hospital, you wait in the line. No ticket queueing system. There would be a lot of people trying to push in.
As soon as we visit the hospital, people knew that we were family member of Dr. Hien Duc. Thanks God! The relationships were arranged by Dr. Cuong. The flowed was quite smooth.
I believed it was Friday, Linh met a few room mates of similar situation. It turned out, all of them were here as a result of motorbike accident. They could hardly talk, but all seemed to understand each other.
Here are some of the pictures. I took these photos because I need to send these pics to my mum for doctor advices in Australia.
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One broken jaw and another broken bone near the nose.
This look much better than the first day. |
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| Imagine a bed like that with 2 people. |
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| Scars are still on both of her arms. |
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Her legs took the longest time to heal.
There are still big noticeable scars her foot.
After 2 years, all the wounds are healed.
Linh's legs still hurt occasionally. I don't know why! |
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| I still could not understand why she got the injury on the inner thigh. |
Operation
The following Monday, Linh had an operation by Dr. Hien Duc. I heard that she is the best surgery doctor in the hospital. She was very nice. She advised us what to prepare before and after the operation. My main tasks were:
- Pay for the operation.
- Buy the titanium plates for connecting the broken jaw.
- Buy milk for Linh to drink after the operation.
- Buy some other medicines I couldn't recalled.
The operation went well. Linh was transferred to the resting room. She slept most of the time there. If I remember correctly, I had to constantly applied ice pad to the operated area for two days. I think this would minimize the bleeding and pain.
Blended congee for 2 months
Linh's mouth was sealed after the operation. Her teeth were tied together to prevent movement of the jaws. Everyday, Linh's could only eat blended food. She didn't even have the energy to suck it. I constantly whispered on her ears:
If you love me, you must eat. You must eat a lot as well. You need food and minerals to repair your body. Otherwise, we would have to be in the hospital for a very long time.
The congee at the hospital wasn't soft enough. It could not get through her teeth. I had to bring our own fruit blender from home. I bought it a while ago for Linh on our anniversary. Anyway, her main course meal was
blended congee. To be exact, these were the daily diet:
- 3 x Ensure Milk Can
- 6 x Bowl of congee
- 1 x Glass of orange juice
- 1 x Glass of grape juice or apple juice
Because Linh's couldn't feed herself, I feed her using the following procedures:
- Linh laid on the bed.
- I raised her back about 45 degrees angle.
- I used the big syringe:
- Suck the blended congee.
- Pump it into her mouth.
- Naturally, the blended congee would flow to the mouth, down the throat through the gaps on her teeth.
My partner consumed the food this way for the entire month in the hospital. During this time, I contacted my mum from Australia to buy us medicines for scar treatment. Those medicines were amazing, Linh still using it everyday since the last 2 years.
Family and Friends
Linh has a lot of visitors during the first week. I saw many of her friends cried. These visitors were very important for her. They were great supporters. Nonetheless, only a few came back on the second weeks. I, Linh's mother and her step father were around most of the time. I visited Linh everyday. Occasionally, I slept most of the time on my visit. I knew that I couldn't do much, but my presence would encourage Linh to recover much faster.
Home sweet home
Linh was really strong. I wonder how she could consume a lot of the same food every single day. She left the hospital earlier than her room mates even though their injuries were not as serious.
Anyway, we were informed by Dr. Hien Duc that her mouth would be sealed for at least another month. That's mean another month of
blended congee. At least, it would be much better than staying at the hospital.
Seal removed
A month later, the seal was removed. He mouth was full of blood after removing the seal. We were advice that she could only consume soft food. Well, anything should taste good now. So it doesn't really matter.
Lost sense
Linh's told me that she lost the sense on lips and chin a while ago after the accident. Occasionally, Linh unintentionally bit her lips whilst eating because she could not feel it. We contacted Dr. Hien Duc, she advised:
This is normal. Some nerves were cut during the operation. But they will reconnect later.
Thanks God! After about a year, her sense fully recovered. That's better. I didn't feel like kissing the living dead lips.
Pregnancy
Last week, I was informed by Linh that I will be dad. I was so happy. The sort feeling that could not be expressed. We lost a pregnancy once. I fear that it could happen again.
I didn't want Linh to get pregnant for years. The reason was we both not
ready yet. I was a youth social worker in Australia whilst doing University degree. I think I knew what children really need. This is what
ready really mean from my point of view:
- Must be able to spend at least 30 minutes a day with my child for at least the first 7 years. This is the most important period of the development of the brain of children.
- Take a walk with my wife 30 minutes daily after dinner during the pregnancy period.
- Must do more research about the psychology of kids.
We both trying to be ready now. I already quited my current job in Vietnam. I'll get another as soon as I go back to Australia. The environment in Australia is much better than Vietnam. It should be number one in the world. I made a commitment to myself that I will not work as hard as I did during the past years. My family is much more important. I would do the best I could for my wife and my child.
Our story is endless. Yet, I have a feeling it has just begun.
Preparing to go to Australia
In order to provide our kid the best possible life, we have to go to Australia. The following picture story will illustrate what we have done so far:
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| Requirement Elicitations |
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Cong is doing the statutory declaration.
Linh writing our story history from her aspect. |
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I went to my friend office in the Suh Wah Tower to get him to do the
statutory declaration. Giang is the Director of Vina Security.
He got his own lawyer which can be the prescribed person for
the statutory declaration. Very convenience for us. |
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Cong help us finding the old images on his laptop.
OMG, there are over 5,500 of them in an unordered list.
I have to preview every single one of them. |
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Linh continue writing her story. She is very slow.
Well, she is pregnant. I don't want to put to much pressure on her. |
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I was playing with the remote control of the camera.
Finally, I got it working.
Now, I can take pictures of us without the help from other people. |
Getting the document verified, certified in Australia is easy. In contrast, it's the pain in the ass to get any document certified in Vietnam. Here is one of our experience. Criminal record for Linh is required by the department of immigration of Australia, we went to the local police station where Linh lived many years ago. We must do the paperwork there even if it's thousands of miles away! A cop informed us:
The person in charged is on vacation. He will be back next week.
I wondered if I am in the 21st century. We asked for the form, they didn't even have it. There is no such form. We went back home to ask the local cop I know. He showed us how to write it. We got it done. we went back to the other police station to hand in the application. One of the cop questioned:
Is this how the application must be done?
Every form or application must goes through the cops. If cops doesn't know how to do it, what do they expect from people like us.
For every form, we must go back and forth at least 3 times. This is how you do it in Vietnam:
- Buy the form from the local police station, if the have it. Otherwise, you must write your own in the correct way.
- Complete the form. Hand it in. They will tell you when you can pick it up. They will not inform you if they have not complete it. You have to go there to find out!
- Pick up your form.
Well, we got most if not all of the required documents done. We are ready to go now!
